Monday, March 17, 2008

Spring Will Be A Little Awesome This Year...

Let's take a look at some upcoming springtime films, shall we*? And by "springtime", I mean, "until the new Indiana Jones movie opens".

And I've meant that for 30 years.

4/4- Leatherheads- Or Clooney does Coens. It is sad how much I like George Clooney's taste in projects after "Out Of Sight" through "Michael Clayton". Okay, maybe not "Solaris". And I never saw "The Good German". Gimme a break. Anyways, this film hasn't had a great trailer yet, but the optimist in me thinks they're saving the best gags so we don't get burned out by the time we see the movie. Hey, I said I'm an optimist.

4/25- Harold & Kumar Escape From Guatanamo Bay. The only real reason to watch any of the "H & K" films is sitting astride a unicorn in the picture above. You can either get on the NPH train now, or watch sadly as it leaves you behind in Loserville on it's way to Awesome-rifficton, USA. Your choice.

4/25- Baby Mama. I'm a big fan of what Tina Fey has done with her sitcom, and I'm hoping that this movie will duplicate that and her first written cinematic epic "Mean Girls". This film, however, is only starring Tina Fey, not written by her. The writer/director Michael McCullers has co-written the last two "Austin Powers" movies and was a writer on SNL during the late 80's/early 90's. Already they have me at "and Steve Martin as the boss".

5/2- Iron Man. I could talk about how awesome the trailer looks, or how great it is that recovering addict Robert Downey, Jr. is playing alcoholic multi-billionaire superhero Tony Stark, or the rumor that he will reprise the role in "The Incredible Hulk" (setting up more films in the Marvel Universe to crossover). Instead I will just quote the theme song to the sixties Iron Man cartoon...

Tony Stark, makes you feel

He's a cool exec with a heart of steel

As Iron Man, all jets ablaze

He fights and smites with repulsor rays

Amazing armor! That's Iron Man!

A blaze of power! That's Iron Man!

The film will lose major cool points without this song somewhere in it.

5/9- Speed Racer. Amazing trailer. Great cast. But what about the theme song lyrics?

Here he comes

Here comes Speed Racer

He's a demon on wheels

He's a demon and he's gonna be chasin' after someone.

He's gainin' on you so you better look alive.

He's busy revvin' up a powerful Mach 5.

And when the odds are against him

And there's dangerous work to do

You bet your life Speed Racer

Will see it through.

Go Speed Racer

Go Speed Racer

Go Speed Racer,


He's off and flyin' as he guns the car around the track

He's jammin' down the pedal like he's never comin' back

Adventure's waitin' just ahead.

Go Speed Racer

Go Speed Racer

Go Speed Racer,


*Yes. We shall.

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