Monday, February 11, 2008

The Annual Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue Is Out...

...and this year they're doing a tribute portfolio to Hitchcock films with today's stars in yeserday's movies. And while I have a few quibbles (what no "Family Plot"?), the big question I have is for the last picture featured.

But let's look at some of the others, shall we?

"Lifeboat" is recast with Hitchock veteran Eva Marie Saint (leaving Tippi Hedren and Barbara Harris to wonder "Did the voicemail malfunction?"), Julie Christie, Ben Affleck's brother, Ben Foster, James Brolin's son and, of course, Omar Metwally and Tang Wei.
"Dial M For Murder" is redone with Charlize Theron in the Grace Kelly part and Central Casting's idea of a thug playing the thug part. Was Steve Buscemi unavailable?
"The Birds" attack Jodie Foster, who is reminded of certain members of the press, and is, therefore, prepared.
"Marnie" is played here by Naomi Watts. One wonders if a character who is neurotic blonde with huge, debilitating issues would be out of her range. And then one remembers every character she's ever played...
Here we see a "To Catch A Thief" with Robert Downey Jr. in the Cary Grant part and Gwyneth Paltrow in the Grace Kelly part. And in the disbelieving audience part, me. I mean, forget that this is one of my favorite Hitchcock movies for a second (and to see this version, I would have to).

The scene this is supposed to duplicate has Grant and Kelly sitting on the sofa inches away from each other, as fireworks go off.

Is Gwyneth Paltrow so much taller than Robert Downey, Jr. (sitting down, mind you), that they have to pose them awkwardly, standing a mile a part from one another, so that Paltrow can be in a trench behind the furniture?

Because this Madame Tussauds' exhibit of "Short Guy and Tall, Skinny Girl" seems a little... stiff wouldn't you say?

I know, I know Vanity Fair had to cut a deal with the studio making "Iron Man" and promote the film somehow... but this would be as awkward as putting Terrence Howard in the Kelly part and Jeff Bridges in the Grant role.

They'd still promote the film, but would the photo "tribute" make any sense to anybody?

Just a question.


schinders said...

it looks like they didn't take the picture together. if you look, their eye lines are off. it might be some high tech spy photo.

your fiend, mr. jones said...

or what scholars call "the miramax poster effect".