Future Jones Tells Me, "A Man's Gotta Know His Limitations, Dad"

Hi. Broken any bones lately? No? Well, I have. Trying to carry Future down a steep hill so he wouldn't fall, I... fell, I guess would be how the medical professionals would describe what happened.

In falling, I broke my fibula in my left ankle. This will help balance the broken right ankle (and three torn tendons) in my right foot that occurred in 94 in San Francisco. And the little bone in my right foot I broke two years ago. And the various sprains on both ankles throughout the years.

I am the most extreme walker ever. Or clumsy, as the medical professionals would say.

The last time I was laid up like this I ended up watching the entire run of "Quantum Leap". Not on dvd, but cable. This was back when the show was on 27 different cable channels throughout the day.

This time around, I've been watching THE NEW TELEVISION SEASON!

Let's review, shall we?

-"Chuck" (NBC, Mondays 8pm et). One of the two "geeks become unlikely heroes" shows I recommend, this tells the adventures of, well, Chuck as he accidentally downloads the entire US intelligence files into his brain and now has to fight crime, while maintaining his job at the local "Best Buy" knock-off. Protecting him are two intelligence agents, one (Adam "Firefly" Baldwin) from the NSA, the other (Yvonne Strzechowski) from the CIA. Geek touches include "Tron" movie poster in hero's bedroom, various internet/computer game references. The lead in this, Zachary Levi, has a kind of Paul Rudd thing going on and the writing is very sharp. Plus, every week, Adam Baldwin pulls a gun and the CIA girl has a martial arts moment. So, where's the bad?

- "Heroes" (NBC, Mondays 9pm et). Claire, the indestructible cheerleader, cuts off her little toe on her right foot. To see if her powers are like a salamander or lizard. And it grows back, like a salamander or lizard. And this is only the second episode of the new season! And I'm crippled while watching it!! Do yourself a favor and join this bandwagon, if you haven't already.

-"Reaper" (CW, Tuesdays, 9pm et). Or, Ray Wise gets the part of that fulfills on the promise he showed in "Twin Peaks". He plays the devil. Extremely well. This is the second of the two "geeks become unlikely heroes" shows I like. Sam works at a "Home Depot" knock off and, in his spare time, collects escaped souls for the devil "Ghostbusters"-style with his co-workers. Because his parents sold his soul to the Devil. This plays a lot better than it sounds, thanks to the acting, the writing and the tone set by Kevin Smith who directed the pilot.

-"Boston Legal" (ABC, Tuesdays, 10pm et). Or John Larroquette gets work. Now look, I like him as much as the next avid TV watcher, but did they really have to replace Rene Auberjonois? Is Larroquette really that much younger/sexier and is he really going to bring in a younger demographic to this formerly awesome show? Okay the mighty Shatner/Spader team is still awesome, but the "older actors in the lead" thing was one of the other, very awesome things about the show. And no Auberjonois was not one of the leads, but still... this guy worked with Altman fer crissakes! Holla!

-"Bionic Woman" (NBC, Wednesdays, 9pm et). I watched this because I'm a big frickin' geek ("Oh really?" you query, "I hadn't noticed.") and it's the rules. I liked the main character freaking out, I like Miguel Ferrer in almost (never watched "Crossing Jordan") anything, and crazy Bionic Woman vs. new Bionic Woman is always good. Never bad. But no Lindsay Wagner???? Not even in a cameo???? Shame.

-"Life" (NBC, Wednesdays, 10pm et). Skipped it for "Dirty, Sexy Money". I will try to watch this week. I assume it's based on Eddie Murphy/Martin Lawrence comedy epic and also assume Lawrence will be reprising his character, leading me to believe white, British actor Damian Lewis will be showing how versatile the Brits really are in Murphy's part.

-"Dirty, Sexy Money" (ABC, Wednesdays, 10pm et). Best. Soap. Title. Ever. Probably won't last very long as it seems the "Desperate Housewives" knock-offs are all doomed. But check it out for the few weeks it's on. Very funny work from entire cast and writers. Tom Shales of The Washington Post hated it for trying to be too much like "Arrested Development". This is a problem? All shows should aim that high.

-"My Name Is Earl" (NBC, Thursdays, 8pm et). Jeez, this show is really starting to make my teeth itch. The level of humor is getting so uneven, it's hard to wade through the homilies and bad jokes to get to one "Randy walks into a pole". So sad to see a funny show wain. And NBC, if a show cannot sustain being stretched to an hour, do not put the viewers through the padding they're going to be getting by stretching it to an hour.

-"The Office" (NBC, Thursdays, whenever "My Name Is Earl" is over with) Meanwhile, this thing just gets bettah and bettah. While I feel sorry for Steve Carrell's career and Jenna Fischer's marriage hitting the skids, if it helps keep this show rocking so hard, I say "Bring on more personal calamity!".

-"Torchwood" (BBC America, Saturdays, 9pm et). This "Doctor Who" spin off, features an X-Files/Men In Black premise that is probably the least interesting thing about it. What is really well done is the characterizations of the two leads Gwen and Captain Jack Harkness. It would take me too long to explain who they are or what I'm talking about. Just watch the show.

Finally, a big shout out to Jeffrey Johnson, a super fiend of Mrs. J and myself, who blew us away in the season finale of "Burn Notice" as the evil, ex-Marine heroin smuggler. Mark my words, when he's sober, Jeff is an amazing talent and shows it in one of my favorite summer shows.

Ankle throbbing. Must go.